It's Perfectly Natural. Right?

Or so we're taught. Unless you're my mother, who while I was in high school told me to make sure that in my semi-annual trip to the confession booth I divulged my serial masturbational habits. I fucking didn't. I figured why tell the priest something God already knows. Plus, when one considers the events involving priests that have come to light in the years since then, I think we can all agree I made the right call.

So the first thing one needs to learn in college is the schedule of one's roommate. That way you know when it's safe to unlock the porn vault.














If you get caught rubbing one out, the obvious first inclination is to grab the nearest thing to you in order to cover your bits. My guitar did not achieve it's desired task.

Original thread, plus about 1000 versions of other people's worst sexual experiences in ms paint can be found here.

THE CONSEQUENCES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME

If you don't know the story, it made fucking Good Morning America, so go back into your cave and rub one out. Summary below.

"Ask A Black Man" (illustrated by a white one)

I was asked to provide illustrations to a very informative thread on Shaggybevo entitled "Ask a Black Man." Normally I'm all about comedy but you'll find none of that here, my friends. I provide this illustrative summary in an effort to educate and enlighten...to help unify the races with a bridge of understanding and tolerance.

And if any of you have any complaints, I have a few black friends, so this is okay.